Should You Exhibit These Symptoms of Giants Fever, Please Apply Leeches Immediately

October 31st, 2010

Worthy Subjects:

Giants Fever continues to stalk the land like one big stalking thing. Should you exhibit these symptoms, apply leeches and start knitting immediately:

1) All surface areas, particularly clothing, turn a lurid orange and black
2) Normal speech heightens into a shrill, piercing screaming until throat becomes raw
3) Drivers will reflexively and repeatedly hit the horn
4) Spontaneous eruptions of clapping along with the sad, rhythmic lament of “Let’s Go, Giants, Let’s Go” grips you along with those around you. This can be likened to the episodes of mass hysterical dancing that erupted amongst the populace in the Middle Ages.
5) You feel the need to makeout with a stranger who would otherwise be anathema to you

Should you exhibit any of these, start knitting a sock or a scarf immediately, within the quiet of your very own home. Weep softly into your cat’s fur. Drink sherry. Beware, subjects, beware, for the Fever stalks men, women and children alike! Royalty are of course spared. Take all precautions to keep yourself from this scourge on Our nation.

Trust in Your Sovereign Always and Forever, and Keep Calm and Craft On,

Princess Animal

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