“Nancy! Nancy, you’re needed in San Francisco.”

“It sounds urgent, Aunt Kathy. What is it?”

“It IS urgent, my dear niece. My friend Jenn discovered a rare vintage 80′s sweater on Etsy…but by the time she found it, it was sold.”

“Oh no, Auntie. That’s terrible. Can’t she knit it?”

“That’s the trouble, Nancy. This would be her first sweater–and I can’t find a pattern that’s quite on.”

“Have you looked at Ravelry?”

“Indeed I have, my girl. Perhaps the equivalent is hidden under another name.”

“Golly, this IS a mystery! A mystery worthy of Nancy Druid, Girl Knit Detective. I’ll get right on it, Auntie.”

Nancy hung up the rotary phone without saying goodbye, and thought about the problem at hand. How could she find this missing pattern? How could she skip school and go to San Francisco? Where would she get the money for a plane ticket? But all of this was nothing compared to a mystery that piqued the curiosity of the famous girl detective.

It must be a pattern good for a beginner, with a lot of sass, sexiness and fun knitting. If a pattern couldn’t be found, why, she’d make one! If one took slight liberties with the pattern, it could easily be knit top-down, in the round. The yoke would have the diamond lace pattern, which would lead to slimming lines of lace down to the bottom. Add a little shaping in the waist, and why, yes, this could be done.

But even better if one could find a pattern first. Nancy put on a rust orange over-the-knee sweater, a butter-colored cardigan, and her trusty brown oxfords. After all, this was going to take a lot of legwork and she needed comfortable shoes.

One plane ride and BART ticket later (luckily, the amount of reward money she’d earned in the Case of the Shattered Diamond had paid exactly that amount), she emerged into the sunlight at 16th and Mission. Gosh, Nancy thought, there certainly are a lot of people muddling about for the middle of the day. Why so much yelling? What’s that strange smell? Straightening her shoulders and refusing to make eye contact, she purposely strode toward Valencia and 19th, where she’d talk to her first witness: Princess Animal.

What do you think, fair readers? Will Nancy be able to find a pattern that works? Or should she just make one up as she goes along? What yarn should she use? Does the sweater have to be black? The suspense is killing us!

If you, or someone you know, has encountered a sweater pattern of similar mien lately, please inform the top-down, seamless authorities in the comments below.