Okay, so this entire blog post was going to be about knitting speed. And how I don’t got it. But, I’ve been distracted for nearly AN ENTIRE HOUR by this man loudly and repeatedly talking on the phone. Phone call after phone call. There is literally a groove worn into his face from him jamming the phone into his face flesh.

Okay, I understand that I’m in a coffee shop. Technically a public place, true. Howsomever, why, why, WHY would you have your private conversations about college admissions and various teenagers’ psychological problems in a public place?

True, I hate talking on the phone. Pretty much all the time. Which is why I love texting and email. And I find it to be especially rude in a public place. I find myself longing for the days of rotary phones, which tethered people to their own homes, or a phone book outside.

Christ, I was just about to tell this guy to take his next call outside, when his terrifyingly militaristic bodyguard/spawn walked up. Clearly he needs a bodyguard, since he talks on the phone in public all the time.  Look at that frighteningly bad haircut.

The force of my hate-glare isn’t working hard enough. My revenge shall come slowly, as the brain tumor in his head slowly grows.

I just told asked him to take his next call outside and he didn’t even respond! Holy hell. How is this possible? Perhaps he’s deaf in that phone ear. He just stared at me blankly with those little pig eyes and a line of snot running down his nose.

Okay, rant done.

Now I have about one paragraph’s worth of strength left in me for the discussion at hand.

Wait, real-time interruption. Excellent. Now the jarhead has come up to me to complain that I don’t get to decide who gets to talk on the phone in a public place. That’s where you’re wrong, jarhead. I actually DO get to decide. It took all my strength to say “You’re not from here, are you?”

Okay, settling down, back to the subject at hand…

While I’m a constant knitter, I’m also a fairly slow knitter. I just finished a sweater (the super awesome Vitamin D), which is blocking right now. Among two other smaller projects on the needles (the challengingly fabulous German Stockings by Cookie A. and the Windsor Warmer from New England Knits), I just started the extra-uber-great Cityscape sweater, from Twist Collective.

I’m doing this as a knitalong with my friend Mer. It’s sort of an unspoken race. Problem is, she’s a much faster knitter than I am. The majority of this sweater is in stocking stitch. And I’ve had this almost unconquerable…urge…to start knitting Continental. I don’t know why. I’m a thrower. I do two-handed knitting for stranded colorwork, but full on continental? Well, that’s just not my bag. But apparently it makes for faster knitting. Yet when I try, my gauge is all loose and my hands just don’t want to go that way. But can I, can I really try and practice, and thus achieve the speed that continental knitters are known for?

Now, the other thing I’m really interested in is Lever Knitting. I think I already somewhat do that, but it would be nice to learn officially. But where? How?

Tell me knitters, tell me now. Do you knit English? Continental? Or do you go both ways?

More than that, my mind has been blown by the phone man and his slavish boy-servant and the altercation. Sorry for the rambling rage-filled rant, but it is what it is, and at least I’m not ranting at you out loud, so you’ve got that going for you.

Now I have to go off and knit to quell the rage. Next post: why knitting quells rage and has prevented countless murders.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 22nd, 2012 at 8:58 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.