The time has come, friends, loved ones, and loyal subjects. Alexis Carrington was successful–for now–in her hostile takeover. However! We were successful in leaving her nothing to sell! Bwah hahahahaha! CHOKE ON IT, ALEXIS!
The brick-and-mortar store that was Princess Animal is now closed. Why, so many of you ask, weeping, as you tear at your hair and rend your garments? So, so many reasons. It’s hard out here for a yarn pimp. There’s online competition. Our rent is rising (I hear you, brother and sisters, I hear you, but until there is commercial rent control this will be so!). Some days it would be too hot to knit. Oh, wretched ball of fire in the sky! Some days the weather would be inclement (though not so many, in this drought) and no one would come to shop. My tears mixed with the acid rain. Some days there would be something called a “sports event,” whatever that is. But other days, many of them, most of them, we did just fine.
There was another reason, and now it can be told. The Princess had a full-time job. So in addition to ruling Her loyal subjects with a wool-clad fist, fighting for world-wide domination one fiefdom at a time, preparing the Princess Animal Army for the coming Craftopolypse, and looking so damn flawless 24/7, She also is a writer at Sephora. Whew! That’s a lot to do for one insane little monkey-faced piece of royalty.
So before you throw yourself on the pyre in sympathy, let it be known that this is all a good thing for the Princess. Alexis has done us a favor. Now We have more time to do other things, like craft-related events and such. And the Kraft Ins will go on into perpetuity. Perpetuity, We say!
And think of the good things that have happened. Customers became buddies became life-long friends. And then they connected with each other and became friends.
In any case, it’s all been a good yarn, right?