So, recently my friend Amy Heinz of Using Our Words tweeted that she’d pay attention to companies who listed Worst Mother’s Day Gifts. Sure, it took a day or two, but I’m taking her inspiration to heart!
Thus, here’s a tiny list of some things that might make your relationship with Mom more fraught than usual:1)
1) Fen-Phen: You’re not only letting mom know she’s a fatty. You’re showing how big your heart is by potentially letting hers explode! Fun facts: Fenfluramine was marketed by American Home Products (later known as Wyeth) as Pondimin, but was shown to cause potentially fatal pulmonary hypertension and heart valve problems, which eventually led to its withdrawal and legal damages of over $13 billion.
2) Komodo Dragon: Sure, Mom’s a huge Game of Thrones fan. Dragons are cool. But perhaps she doesn’t want to cuddle up with the largest living species of lizard, weighing in at an impressive 150 lbs. and a stunning length of up to 10 feet. These big fellas love to eat deer, but also have a sweet tooth for carrion and their own young. They’ve also been known to attack humans in the area of West Manggarai Regency where they live in Indonesia. Mother of dragons, indeed.
3) Mommy Dearest: Does Mom love roses–but hates to get her hands dirty? Has she invested the family’s nest egg in eyebrow pencil futures? Does she love beautiful dresses–but definitely frowns on wire hangers? Nothing says “You’ve ruined me and I’ll be paying huge therapy bills for the rest of my life” than this classic film.
4) Fifty Shades of Grey: This badly-written page-turner has been dubbed “Mommy Porn.” Judging by the sales, lots of gals love to dive between its covers. But even if it’ll afford Mom a good time, can you afford never her in the eye again?
Or, you could ditch the above, play it awesome and get Mom she’d really like: hand-dyed yarn, a set of interchangeable needles, or an inspiring and crafty book. You could make Mom forever-thankful, impressed and excited…or live a life of eternal regret. Totally up to you.