Archive for October, 2010

Should You Exhibit These Symptoms of Giants Fever, Please Apply Leeches Immediately

October 31st, 2010

Worthy Subjects:

Giants Fever continues to stalk the land like one big stalking thing. Should you exhibit these symptoms, apply leeches and start knitting immediately:

1) All surface areas, particularly clothing, turn a lurid orange and black
2) Normal speech heightens into a shrill, piercing screaming until throat becomes raw
3) Drivers will reflexively and repeatedly hit the horn
4) Spontaneous eruptions of clapping along with the sad, rhythmic lament of “Let’s Go, Giants, Let’s Go” grips you along with those around you. This can be likened to the episodes of mass hysterical dancing that erupted amongst the populace in the Middle Ages.
5) You feel the need to makeout with a stranger who would otherwise be anathema to you

Should you exhibit any of these, start knitting a sock or a scarf immediately, within the quiet of your very own home. Weep softly into your cat’s fur. Drink sherry. Beware, subjects, beware, for the Fever stalks men, women and children alike! Royalty are of course spared. Take all precautions to keep yourself from this scourge on Our nation.

Trust in Your Sovereign Always and Forever, and Keep Calm and Craft On,

Princess Animal

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Terror Has a New Name…PRINCESS ANIMAL.

October 29th, 2010

Most Worthy Subjects:

As We speak, Giants fever has gripped our fair city in a terrifying stranglehold. We can only hope this fever won’t ravage San Francisco as “the Sweat” that raged through Europe of the Middle Ages. No one is safe from the Fever!

How do We know this? Because the shop is next to the Phoenix, a fantastical bar that happens to serve sports alongside a mean Shepard’s Pie.

We are taking all precautionary measures against the Fever, which is why we are madly knitting socks while the rage takes hold of unsuspecting subjects next door. While they may not ward off Giants Fever, they will at least keep Our feet fashionably warm.

Speaking of Le Terror–and of course Le Grande Terror that shall ensue on All Hallow’s Eve, We suggest you clothe Our furrier subjects in garb very like this:

We have tried to download a picture of said Skull Doggery Sweater, but have been thwarted by who knows what evil spirits.

In any case, stay safe, Subjects, and as always remain on your knitting guard.

Your sovereign,
Princess Animal

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Get Creepy & Crafty at the Summit

October 22nd, 2010

Bonjour Loyal Subjects!

It’s time to get down and get crafty at the first Princess Animal Stitch ‘n Bitch this Sunday, October 24th, at the Summit. They’re diagonally across from the shop, I think it’s 780 Valencia. They have food and drink. All crafts are welcome and are considered creepy. Creepy kids are welcome. As regent, I’ll be there representing the Princess, who obviously cannot make public appearences all willy nilly. Although you might just have a chance to meet her come All Hallows Eve…spider

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